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There's no way a TBM is dating you if she knows about your Lucifer kick. This happened to me, and it took me forever to get out of the cult. But I got to my breaking point, and after not hearing from him AT ALL for seven days at this point we had been dating and sleeping together for months.
Love is what we do, not what we feel. Have those candid conversations with HIM, ponder, and listen closely for the guidance of the Holy Ghost. For men, this will likely come after completing your mission trip, so in your early 20s at the earliest. Unless you convert she won't marry you, plain and simple. If you are willing to wait, then well and good; otherwise, it is best to move on. Choose courses based on your needs. You have to come second right now. Usually, when Mormon girls marry non-Mormon men, these women forsake their religion and revert to ordinary American woman. The Mormon university BYU is quickly falling due to these feminists. Some other times I feel alone in my marriage.